Life Lessons Derived From Card Games (Rule #1)

          For the past ~3 years, I've been learning how to play No Limit Texas Hold 'em (and if you've been living under a rock, that's a form of poker). You might think I'd be somewhere about the intermediate level by now, but to be honest, I'm pretty novice at the game. I know when my cards are good or bad and I know the types of players they are good/bad against. Which sounds great - except that it is still difficult for me to figure out what type of player someone is. Regardless, though, studying the game has taught me a few things. Even though I learned them playing cards, I consider them universal truths (in that they always apply and can be learned any number of ways).
     Here's rule #1*: Just because you do everything right doesn't mean you'll win.
     What I'm gonna do for you is this: explain it to you how I understand it (through the lens of a poker player) and then try and give you a more general understanding, so that you can see why I consider these universal truths.
     Let's get started with rule #1: just because you do everything right doesn't mean you'll win. Let me share a personal anecdote: about 2 years ago, I went to go play some poker at the casino. I'm going to try and minimize my use of particular language, so the simplified version is this: One other player raised it to $12, giving off the vibe that he had great cards in his hand and just wanted to end it without having to see any cards on the flop. Doing this tells me a few things: he's got a good hand that he wants to protect, but not so great that he wants other people in to catch cards that might beat him.
    I looked down at 3, 4 unsuited (they didn't share a suit [hearts, diamonds, clubs, spades]). Now, there were 2 ways I could win this: if an Ace or King came out, I could act like I had either and he would fold. If shitty (read: low) cards came out, they might be the ones I needed. Great.
      I called his bet and the dealer proceeded to show us the flop - a 3, a 4, and an 8. That was pretty much as good as it gets for me. I didn't need to fake anything because I had a monster hand. If his pre-flop bet was any indication, I was the favorite to win the hand (anywhere from a 75%-95% favorite).
     Here I am with my monster 2-pair, absolutely primed to take this man's money. He didn't bet, leaving the action to me. I bet, knowing he thought I had trash worse than his jacks. He raised, reinforcing my belief of his strong-but-not-THAT-strong hand. I went all-in and he followed right along; I was ready to take this chump for all I could squeeze out of him.
     Before the next card could come, we bet all our money and turned up our cards. He was holding a pair of Jacks - I was ecstatic at having made the right read and holding a 75% chance to win. I'm sure you know how this story goes, but I'll follow through.
    After the next two cards came out, he had me beat; another 8 came, rendering my 3's & 4's inferior to his J's & 8's. I was fuckin' pissed. Went in with the right read (he had JJ which is good, not great), had a perfect flop come down...and had that shit swiped right out from under me. I cursed that guy, his mother, his father, and his whole goddamned family (...just in my heart, of course. gimme some credit here).
     I don't even think I was that mad at losing the money -  it definitely wasn't the first time I'd been cleaned out. It was just the principle of it - I had this guy cornered. Pinned his cards down, got the cards I needed, and I had him beat through and through - except not, apparently. He lucked out on me, and that really ground my gears. I couldn't take it. I mean Jesus, after the first 8 came out there were at MOST 3 left in the deck (less if someone else got one in their hand). Then another one comes out? Of all the ~35 cards left in the deck, an 8?! Goddammit, why couldn't another 3 or 4 come out? There were more of those combined than 8's! Would that have been too much to ask for??
     In the aftermath, I was definitely pretty crushed. What the hell else was I supposed to do? Give up that fat opportunity that was just SCREAMING my name?? I did everything right, screw that guy for getting lucky! Even in the depths of my anguish, though, there was never even a millisecond that I questioned my decision-making. Unless he had a pair of 8's in his hand and my guess was completely off, I had this guy absolutely dominated. Even though I've spent dozens of hours and gone through hundreds of hands between then and now (forgetting tons along the way), I remember this hand clearly because of that lesson: I did everything the way I should have. Played it near-perfect, if not absolutely. At the end of the day, though, the cards just didn't fall my way. Doesn't mean I did anything wrong.
     I think another way to phrase rule number 1 is that you don't always get what you deserve, or that good things happen to bad people (and vice versa). In terms of cards... well, you've already got a story illustrating the principle. How's it apply to our lives? Well, let's take a moment to redefine what we're trying to understand here: that doing everything right does not necessitate success. For example, your boss might tell you that by accomplishing x (e.g. meeting a deadline ahead of time, exceeding a sales goal by 10%, bringing in more customers), you'll be rewarded with y (e.g. a fat raise, more vacation time, a financed trip to Vegas with hookers and blow). You get the job done, but your boss turns out to be an asshole and decides to renege, leaving you short of one expected prize.
     Now if you didn't already know, you just learned your boss is an untrustworthy asshole; that doesn't really do much for you. What recourse do you have? I mean, I didn't quit poker, and I doubt you'd quit your job (although you could, depending on your circumstances). What did I do? I just dusted myself off and took it as a lesson learned. For you, that lesson could be accompanied by any number of additional details - maybe that all agreements should be in writing and notarized (shout outs to Autumn Tax & Bookkeeping Services. I wouldn't even know what the hell notarizing is if my mom wasn't a notary herself, lol). Or that you work at a company with shitty management and need to get out ASAP. Or whatever. The additional details aren't that important.
     The important part is rule #1: success does not always follow from doing everything right - & that's okay. If this concept is completely novel to you - fantastic. I'm genuinely happy (borderline euphoric, actually) to have been able to introduce something new into your brain. & if it isn't? Well, it's still beneficial to take the things we know in our hearts and minds and put them out there in the world - that's why I wrote this. Plus, a reminder couldn't hurt (& neither could the reinforcement that comes from knowing that there is someone else out there who thinks/feels/believes along the same lines as you).

   
P.S. I just realized I only gave you one additional example - that doesn't really make it universal, does it? I could be lazy and tell you to come up with your own damn examples (which would actually benefit you more than me... so that's not a bad idea), but I won't. I mean... not that one more example would make it universal either but... it does take us one example closer.
     So what's another situation in which doing everything right might not end up in success? Take pro sports for example. The percentage of athletes who play in high school who go on to be pros range from .03% (Men & Women's Basketball) to .5% (Men's Baseball)**. Imagine that: the nation fields millions of high school athletes, and only HALF of a percent of them (if they play baseball, at least. For the rest the odds are even longer.) will reach the pro level. I don't think I need to tell you this, but maybe I do - practice is not the only role involved in making it to the pros. You can practice and study all you want, but there might be deficiencies in the body and mind that keep you from making it. It isn't your fault, it's just a reminder that doing everything right doesn't guarantee a damn thing (...except a strong character built to overcome. Oops. But you know what I mean).


*If you can't tell from the title, I do plan on making this a series. However, the rules are in no particular order - I don't think any one trumps any other (at least not as of this writing), and they are meant to be taken as a set of equally useful reminders/tips/acknowledgements.
**Source: http://www.ncaa.org/about/resources/research/probability-competing-beyond-high-school

My introduction to this blog (aka the "About Me")

     Welcome to my blog! If you're here, you've probably already had a taste of my writing - whether it's one of my notes or statuses on Facebook. I don't really have a focus for this; I'm not travelling anywhere, I don't take beautiful photos to share with the world, and it's not like I'm documenting some major stage in my life. I just like to write. What about?

    Well, I have my fair share of stories, an interesting perspective (at least from what I've been told), more thoughts than I know what to do with, and - at least going by the reaction of my audience (...that's you) - an engaging writing style. Where's it come from, you might ask? Well it's actually a pretty interesting story (and the first of this blog, hooray!).
     When I was just in elementary school, I started reading Harry Potter. I can't remember where it came from first. Either my brother brought it home for his class and I picked it up from him, or we started reading it in Ms. Blevins' 4th grade class (both of those things happened, I'm just not sure in what order). In any case, I came to love the world she created and pretty much grew up with the series. I cried when I watched the last installment in theaters (Seriously.). So anyways, a few years later in middle school, I eventually learned that JK Rowling's writing coach (who she gives a ton of credit to) lived JUST around the block from me! So my middle school self goes to her house, introduces myself, and asks her to teach me how to write.
      ...hahaha, just kidding. In truth, this is me, wondering where I got my writing style from --->  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The only thing I really remember about my writing skills is that when I was younger, one of my teachers advised me (and the rest of the class, actually) to write the way we speak. I guess it stuck, because I don't remember getting any other advice on writing. So here I am, writing the way I speak.

     So why the blog? Well, I've never considered myself a very creative person. and while I might be able to appreciate art in many forms - plays, movies, books, paintings - I haven't got a creative bone in my body. At least, that's what I believed; that was before I thought about what it means to be creative. Which, according to Merriam Webster, is "having or showing an ability to make new things or think of new ideas." And I thought... well, I can write. So this blog is me showing my ability to make something new/being creative/expressing myself to the world. I can't sing. I can't dance. And I am definitely not making an NFL roster, ever (...I just cried a little on the inside).
     But there are two things I love doing: 1) making people smile and 2) making them think. So whatever it is I'm sharing - whether it's a short story, an editorial, or anything else I might come up with - hopefully it induces at least one of those. So stay tuned, and you might find something you like.

Minh

P.S. I'm open to suggestions for the blog name. Leave a comment if you've got anything for me