Whenever I tell someone I used to be a bully, they're typically nonplussed. I'm not certain why, because I consider myself a pretty nice guy. And wouldn't you be surprised if a pretty nice guy used to be a bully? I guess it's because I tease/make fun of people a lot... but still. I guess I'm still coming to terms with people's perception of me.
Anyways, my first participation in an act of bullying was on the wrong end. If you're part of the school of thought that bullies are bullies because they've been bullied...well, then, this must've been the start to my bullying future.
I was just hanging out after school one day, waiting for my parents to pick me up. One by one, my classmates began to leave me. My parents must've been awfully busy that day, because even after my classmates' departure, I was left standing around and kickin rocks while the rest of the kids at school left too. After what felt like forever (but was probably just 15-20 minutes, y'know how that can feel like forever to a kid), it was just me.
But this wouldn't be a story without anyone else in it, right? While the number of kids around me dwindled, I noticed Jay in my periphery. I didn't really get along with the guy, so even as the rest of my classmates left I kept a good distance between the two of us. By the time everyone else was gone, though, there was just the two of us.
I'm not really certain how it happened, but before I know it, Jay's standing next to me and we're making some small talk. Basically he was trying to engage me and I was being curt with him. At some point, he got his hands on my backpack. I can't remember if he had asked for it and I had (foolishly) given it to him, or if I just had it off and he picked it up from the ground. Whatever the case, he now had possession of my backpack.
In Kindergarten, I had a 101 Dalmatians-themed backpack. Y'know, buncha puppies are captured to be made into dog-skin fur coats and a bunch of other dogs team up to find them and bring them home. Lovely movie - and I certainly loved that little red and white backpack with a few of the dogs from the movie on it. It was precious, honestly.
So he's got my cherished backpack in hand at this point, and I don't remember what happens next. Did I go the "Hey! Give that back!" route? Did he tease me while playing keep away? Violence never occurred to me, and even if it did Jay was about 3 times my size (...like, literally. He was probably triple my width.) and could have whooped my ass. What I DO remember is that he tossed my backpack in the middle of the street. Like, without any type of provocation. Just because he could. Dick move, right?
Anyways, he starts hooting and guffawing at my expense while I walk out on the street to go get my backpack. I didn't cry then, and I'm pretty sure I didn't cry when I told my mom what happened. I just had a great sense of exasperation - like why the FUCK would someone do that?? I didn't even do anything! I didn't even wanna TALK to the fuckin' guy! He walked over to ME.
Anyways, you could see why this would frustrate a 5 year old without a strong grasp on the (un)fairness of life at the time. Heck, I still don't quite get it now. But to stop myself from going off the topic, there you have it: my first encounter as the victim of a bully. It sucked ass, I didn't like it, and it definitely left me feeling like Jackie.
No comments:
Post a Comment